Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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