she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
tell me about the eggs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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