Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
