I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
