I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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