Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
