I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
babies were throwing up all over the place
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
