piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Please, let me fuck your mom
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
