theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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