i think my tv is drunk
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
