he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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