My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
