we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
