She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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