If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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