Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
