my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
