Plan B is the new Plan A
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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