Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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