i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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