ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
God I need to hump something, right now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
