You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
