i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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