Its about making memories worth repressing
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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