I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize