for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
