Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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