also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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