I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
