dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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