So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
