that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize