Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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