speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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