We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
