His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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