the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They have beer where we have blood.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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