So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
