At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
