i barfeds in our rink
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
