So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am naked and annoyed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
