Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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