Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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