No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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