too bad you live with your parents still
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
