I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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