i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
