Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
