I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
