oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
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I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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