he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Houston, we have a squirter
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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