Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
