your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
