you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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