god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
