Screwed.edu
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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