Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
