We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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