thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I will pee on everything he values.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
