I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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