"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Houston, we have a squirter
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
