there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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